


Heal Me on the Battlefield

by SoftBoyApollo



Category: Original Work
Genre: (it is mentioned a lot), Angst, Blood, Blow Jobs, Drama, Eventual Smut, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, M/M, Making Out, Original Character(s), Romance, Romeo and Juliet shit again, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 07:48:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18687211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoftBoyApollo/pseuds/SoftBoyApollo
Summary: (I will write this later, because I have a vague idea of where I am going with this but who knows. Not even God has any control over this.)





	1. Endure, Remain

**Author's Note:**

> Another present for my wonderful friend Ian. Please note that I know nothing about history or war and I don't care enough to do research. So if you want accuracy, find something else. If you want smut and your heart ripped out, I think you might be in the right place.

“You have ten seconds to run. If you are still standing there, I swear to God I will waste a bullet on you.” The cold air hit his skin where the badge had been ripped off his shoulder. It was supposed to bring him shame, but truth to be told, Michael had not felt so free for months. Even though mud and dried blood remained on him, that freedom felt cleansing to the bone. 

“You should not shame me for following the word of God”, the blond ex-soldier replied as he pushed himself up out of the mud they threw him in. He wondered what was worse. Being killed here in front of his friends, hoping they would, too, see the cost of war, or running away and being killed later by the so-called enemy. The commander already had started counting. Michael thought of staring him down, standing ground just to make a point. However, the moment he looked up, he saw the scared, broken look on his best friend’s face. The brief meeting of those warm, honey brown eyes with Michael’s own cold blue ones was like a whole, private conversation. Michael wanted to hug him, tell him he would be fine. That thought was what got his feet dashing through the wet mud and glistening grass, before the young adult had even made the conscious decision to flee. “I’ll come back for you”, the blue-eyed blond yelled over his shoulder, hoping his best friend knew it was meant for him. 

The open fields made way for the densely packed forest, where his feet stopped and he finally took a rest behind a tree. It was chilly, but not quite cold yet. However, that would become a problem once the night would settle in. It was around midday, but the clouds obscured the sun completely. Michael looked up, trying to find a glimpse of light from between leaves and thick clouds. Once his breath started to get slow and even again, did he realise how much fucked he was. He patted his chest and hips, but the only thing he found was the gun he had never used and the first aid products that were still hidden in his jacket. No food, no clean water and no way to contact anyone. Going back would mean his own friends would need to shoot him, going forward meant entering enemy territory and someone else needed to shoot him as soon as they saw that the uniform he wore wasn’t matching theirs. 

Michael let himself slip down the tree, sitting against it as he clasped his hands together. His blue eyes closed as he directed his face towards where the sun should be. “God, please, give me strength. I don’t want to die.” Tears started flowing down his cheeks, mingling with the mud and grease that he had accumulated over the past couple of weeks. Sobs escaped his lips in between the words of his desperate prayer. “Forgive your children, forgive Samuel. Please let us meet…” He stopped abruptly when he heard voices behind him. Did the commander send anyone after him? 

There was no time to think. Michael scrambled onto his feet with dread in his veins and ran blindly into the forest. War had transformed the Christian’s body from lean to mostly skin and bone. His scrawny body was not made for heavy exercise or labour and he certainly was not used to running, but with adrenaline coursing through his body and the terror of dying taking up his every thought, he found himself going faster than he had ever gone. That was until his foot caught on a root and he fell face first onto the ground. Leaves covered his face as he lifted his head. Michael held his breath as he tried to listen carefully. He heard no voice, no rustle, no breathing. It seemed like he was in the clear for now. Finally, he allowed himself to breathe again and looked around, just to realise he had no idea where he was. Nevertheless, he had nowhere to go either. 

With a resigned sigh, he picked himself up again. He picked a direction and just started walking. The Lord would guide his way, or so he believed and during moments like this, his faith was one of the few things he still had left. With aching feet and a growing need for water and food, the young man travelled through the woods. He started to believe he would die from hunger before anything else, until the distinct smell of blood and gunpowder hit his nose. Michael reflexively dropped himself to the ground and started to crawl, his arms still hurting from the last time. However, as he got closer, there seemed to be only an aftermath. Both victims from his side and the other scattered the battlefield. Michael checked both, trying to find a survivor. Anyone still breathing, anyone with a beating heart, but even when he lost count of which body he had checked and which one not, he found none. He was lucky to find left over rations and flasks with water on some soldiers. It felt wrong to take them, but he had to. His guilt was only subdued by praying for the fallen, no matter what side they used to be on. Stuffing what he could find and use in a backpack that was still mostly good, Michael made his way through the battlefield, trying to leave. He stopped when he noticed movement. He reflexively crouched down, approaching the body like a crab. There was a brawny figure on the ground, the back of his head stained with a little dried blood, but it did not seem to have been much. As Michael bent down, he heard the soft sound of breathing. “Thank God”, the young blond whispered as he rolled the big man on his side. Michael went through the pockets of his jacket, looking for whatever supplies he still had. After establishing that the wound was small and caused by blunt force rather than a bullet, he got rid off the weapons and other unnecessary accessories the other had on him. Michael put the last of his strength into carrying the large, blond fighter away from the battlefield.

Michael was unable to get him far, but at least there were no bodies in the clearing where he managed to drag the unconscious soldier to. It was then that he noticed the uniform that did not match his own, but frankly, he did not care. This man was also a child of God and that was all Michael cared about. He opened the backpack he had filled with leftover supplies from now dead soldiers, sticking his entire arm in it, as he sought for the fire stones he swore he had put into the sack. 

A good half hour later, he sat in front of a small fire that was barely holding onto existence. Most twigs and such were too soaked to burn, so there was little keeping the warmth alive. The skinny male was tired from trying to get his new, huge companion into a seemingly comfortable position. He would be fine, but might have a concussion. At moments like this, Michael really wished he was either a physician or back home, where he could teach the youth mathematics. Oh how he missed the rowdy classrooms, the smell of teen angst and even the terrible sound of the broken air conditioning interrupting him mid-sentence. As the night fell, Michael started feeling more and more lonely and increasingly cold too. His mind drifted to his father, his cousin, Samuel and the many students he had to leave behind to follow up on his duty. The lonely mathematician buried his face in his hands, crying his heart out. 

The fire had long gone out by the time night fell. It was dark and near icy. The beefy man had still not woken up. Michael's frequent check ups confirmed he remained alive. The young male wondered if he had to wake the other up. He was not sure, so he just let him sleep. The stranger was so handsome, looked so peaceful; Michael did not want to disturb that image, even though he did not see it in the dark. By now Michael had already memorized that serene image of beauty and did not need to actually behold to know how the wounded male was lying there on the dirty ground. 

The cold was getting to him. Michael wrapped his arms around himself, but it did not make things much better. He briefly considered cuddling up to the sleeping soldier for warmth, but he was sure that could get him killed were the pile of muscle to wake up before him. In the end, the former teacher curled up against a tree at a safe distance from the enemy soldier, shivering in the cold as exhaustion eventually lulled him into a light sleep. Anxiety woke him up every now and then. Sometimes he just sat there until he was too tired to stay awake. Sometimes he briefly checked up on his patient. When it got light again, he gave up on trying to sleep more. The dark circles under his eyes had become so prominent that he was almost capable of feeling their presence like hair hanging in his face. Michael sighed, feeling so lonely. It was hard to force himself to eat, but the boney medic was smart enough to not consider skipping breakfast. However, as he ate the stale rations, he reconsidered if eating this terrible meal was a price he was willing to pay for a life that might end within 24 hours. If he stayed alive another 24 hours, he would consider himself more lucky than a leprechaun. Checking up on his patient again, Michael started to wonder if the sleeping Adonis was in a coma. He wouldn't know the difference, but as long as the adversary soldier was breathing, the mathematician was going to stay with him, holding onto that small chance, that unlikely promise of hope. 

Boredom became the new foe to the point that Michael had started singing quietly. He was a terrible singer, really, but aside from a maybe comatose stud, there was no one to hear him. Michael had gone through at least 50 songs already when the other blond finally showed some action. The moment he moved, Michael jerked up, mute instantly. He reflexively grabbed his gun and aimed it at the soldier that was gradually regaining consciousness. The rookie medic was shaking as he watched breathing change and eyes open, blinking up at the bright midday sky. Electric blue eyes looked up at Michael with a mixture of grogginess and confusion. They then fell down to the weapon in his hands. Michael was able to see the other’s face changing as he was staring down the barrel of Michael’s weapon, which had gone unused ever since it ended up in Michael’s possession. “If you want to shoot me, you should take the opportunity now you still have it”, a heavy, manly voice rumbled out. The husky and somewhat sexy sound of it held something intimidating and dark, filling the shorter individual with a feeling he would rather bury at the moment. The vibrations of it ran down Michael’s spine, making him shiver and feel even smaller in spite of the fact that he was not the one lying on the ground with a gun pointed at him. 

Almost the instant the big figure stopped speaking, Michael lowered his weapon and put it back in the holster. “How are you feeling?” He inquired, voice barely above a whisper as his gaze slithered over the fellow. 

“Why do you care?” The man growled out as he tried to get up. Apparently he was getting a headache from trying to move that fast. Michael could tell by the way he softly winced and grabbed his head. Those beefy hands even reached for a nearby tree in a response to what seemed to be dizziness and a loss of balance. 

“Because for the past day I have been your physician. I’m Michael.” The blue-eyed young adult tried to approach his patient. He took slow steps, hands stretched out. “I think you have a concussion, so I want to do some tests to see…” Michael couldn’t finish his sentence as his patient pulled him down by the arm. In a blur of limbs and grunts, the skinny male ended up pinned below the man he saved. The athletic body straddled Michael, managing to pin the mathematicians hands above his head with a single hand. The other hand was patting Michael’s slim body down. Michael didn’t say a word and merely sighed as the medical supplies were put onto the ground and the gun translocated from his holster to that of the soldier. “Are you done now?” He asked calmly with a heavy sigh. The unnamed fellow above him let out a primal grunt and turned around, now sitting on Michael’s chest and giving the much smaller individual a real good view of his muscular ass through the slacks that hugged his pelvis tightly. The slender blond squirmed when the other was feeling up his legs and patting his crotch area. “I have nothing there!” The flustered Christian exclaimed, very afraid of getting hot and bothered in a moment like this. 

The man grunted and swung his leg over Michael, freeing the ex-soldier. “No, you don’t. I will keep your gun”, the burly male informed Michael, as if he was telling Michael he could keep the change. It was such an unreal moment. “What did you want with me?” He asked, looking like a predator, ready to attack were Michael to make the wrong move. 

“I wanted to heal you and I still do. Will you let me or are you going to molest me again?” The mathematician huffed as he returned his medical supplies to the several pockets that were hidden in his clothes. The yet unidentified one nodded, putting on a stubborn face as he sat back against a tree. Michael took the small flashlight and got close to the handsome male. “Will you tell me your name?” He asked with a kindergarten teacher voice as he shone the light into those voltaic azure eyes. 

“Walker”, he grunted out in response to the simple question. Michael hummed and told Walker to follow his slender fingers, focused eyes fixated on the pair that followed his fingers. Michael had a hard time to not get lost in the beauty of the enemy soldier. Walker had a beyond impressive physique. He was tall, supported a scruffy beard and got muscles everywhere. Michael dared to think that even the man’s eye muscles were buff.

A few tests later and Michael established that Walker had indeed a mild concussion to say the least. He was a little disoriented, less balanced than one would think of a military man with his physique and kept complaining about a headache. “Come with me”, the beefy blond ordered, walking a few steps and then stopping to give Michael a stern look, his gaze domineering in a way that made knees weak for multiple reasons. 

“Why?” The former teacher questioned with puppy dog eyes. He followed Walker. Where were they heading off to? When Michael stood close to the soldier, the robust body suddenly turned around and grabbed both his hands. In a blur, Michael had his hands tied up with a piece of filthy cloth. He recognized the almost untearable fabric. He used that to cut off blood to wounds. Michael could still feel blood going to his hands though, so he was not completely worried yet. If this alleged enemy really wanted to kill him, he probably would have done it the moment he had acquired Michael’s gun. “Wow, you caught a helpless physician who was helping you and totally having hostile intentions. What now, big boy?” 

Walker grabbed Michael by the cloth around his angular wrists. Mr. Beef apparently did not like being sassed on. “You shut your mouth”, he growled out. “I am going to take you back to my camp and you are going to make yourself useful, you hear me, rat?” Michael would have been scared if he wasn’t so good at reading people like sign boards. This one read ‘I have a duty to perform, but now I am conflicted and I resort to violence, because I’d rather be angry than question my beliefs right now’. It showed in the use of ‘rat’, a term Michael knew to be used to refer to the soldiers of his ‘side’. Samuel would have called Walker a ‘roach’ in the same tone Walker had just used to spat the word ‘rat’ out like it was the most disgusting thing any human being could come up with. Michael kept his mouth shut and kept a foolhardy face. He nodded, not taking a chance with an armed and distressed fighter almost twice his size. “Good choice, let’s get going”, the impaired man snarled, before walking with confidence in a direction that seemed to be chosen at random. Michael was almost sure that Walker had no idea where he was heading off to. How could anyone navigate themselves in no man’s land anyway?


	2. Cotton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it rains, Michael and Walker start to bond.

Michael had not dared to question Walker on their hike. It felt like they were heading off to nowhere in particular. The boney medic’s feet hurt and he could only imagine how bad his travel buddy was feeling with a concussion. As if Walker had heard Michael’s thoughts, he slipped and fell against a tree. “That’s it! We have walked enough for today! You sit down and rest right now or so help me God.” Michael was gritting through his teeth, face gaining a red glow from frustration. He was not mad at being tied up and bossed around; he had experience with that in different settings. No, what really got his blood boiling was a stubborn, testosterone-driven fool, who would not listen to reason, because of some unspoken ‘I have to keep going or die’ oath. 

“You dare bossing me around?” Walker growled in return, one hefty hand clutching his head and the other holding a nearby tree in a forceful grip. It did not slip Michael’s keen observation that the hand on the tree was all that was keeping Walker on his feet at the moment, so he jumped forward with his hands stretched out. With whatever strength he had in his thin arms, the twink pushed Walker’s hand away from the tree, sending the man downwards onto the leaf-covered ground below them. “Fuck you”, the soldier moaned in pain. 

It did not take a trained physician to see that the man was not doing well and Michael kneeled down next to him with sympathy painting his face. “Come on, don’t be stubborn”, he muttered with a roll of his eyes. In spite of his sassy attitude, the words were spoken as if he was soothing a child. “Give me the backpack and I’m gonna make you feel better.” With a defeated groan, the patient complied, pushing himself up a little to sit more comfortably in the dirt. Michael was having a hard time gathering the stuff he needed with his hands still bound together. “Hey, I have nowhere to go, so could you please just untie me? It is really unnecessary, I promise.” At first, when Michael held his limbs out for release, Walker did not seem so keen on the idea of his ‘prisoner’ having free range of movement. The mathematician flashed the burly male his infamous puppy eyes, silently begging for freedom. Unsurprisingly, that look was enough to gain the privilege of having unrestrained access to both his hands. Michael smiled brightly at regaining freedom and immediately got to work, feeding the both of them and giving Walker two pills to help with the pain. He had to be careful with giving those, but with how stubborn Walker was concerning taking them, it was not bound to become a problem at any point. They were resting for a short moment when a few raindrops fell from the sky. “Not again”, Michael sighed as he got up without waiting for another drop to hit him in the face. While he wanted to welcome a shower, the prospect of freezing to death because of being soaked was less appealing. “Come on, we need shelter.”

Walker got up, clearly not liking having to move, but he did not complain. Michael followed the man. There was a light rain, but the darkness of the sky above them promised a lot more. While the rain increased, the two men roamed the quiet of the deep forest. “This is no use”, Walker said with obvious annoyance. “Wait here”, he ordered, before starting to run all over the place. Michael wanted to tell the grumpy soldier that he needed to take it easy, but he had the feeling that it would do little good. Walker was the type to listen to him once every full moon and Michael had spent his one demand when he ordered the beefy male to take a rest for God’s sake. 

At a certain point, Michael had lost sight of his travel partner. It did not bother him at first, but as the minutes were approaching an hour and Walker was not returning. Worry started to grow and made Michael’s feet move in spite of the order he had been given. “Walker?” Michael called out, worried that the man had hit his head again or fainted as a result of the injury he already had. It had started pouring and shelter was not going to keep him dry anymore. Luckily, the only cotton he was wearing, was his underwear and the shirt underneath his nylon uniform. 

“I told you to stay put, didn’t I?” Michael had no time to turn towards the one who spoke. He got yanked by the arm and dragged away from his spot by the familiar bulky man. Michael complained about his companion’s disappearance, but it was evident his words entered one ear and left through the other. Walker brought him to a small makeshift tent made out of a couple of fallen trees, branches and leaves. It was small and the only way to enter was by sitting on the ground and sliding in. Walker pushed Michael in, before joining him. The pair were soaked through and Michael started to shiver. He wished he had found hot-pockets. “You’re really cold, huh?” The brooding figure asked softly, his big body in front of the entrance protecting the smaller male from the wind. 

Michael softly hummed to accompany the hurried nod. “Ye… yeah. I just hope it does not get colder or we both might die of hypothermia”, the medic replied, before opening their backpack. He got a couple of painkillers and a watersack out. “Take some. You are already cold, so let’s at least try to relieve you of that headache.” To his surprise, Walker did not complain and followed instructions without a single word. Michael was pleased by this development. “Are you wearing any cotton?” He asked, already taking his coat off to get rid of his shirt. 

“Yeah, why… why are you undressing?” Michael let out a small chuckle, followed by a small, annoyed sigh. He placed his coat in his lap and shamelessly took off his shirt. 

“I am wearing cotton. Wet cotton is the fastest way to hypothermia”, the young man explained, folding his shirt up and putting his coat back on. “Could you… close your eyes for a moment? My underwear is made of cotton too…” Walker gave him a look that reduced Michael wanting to take off his boxers immediately with that hungry gaze consistently trained on his body. The slight raise of eyebrows got the smaller male almost bending over right there, but Walker already had complied, before any pants were taken off. Michael made quick work of removing his trousers. From his peripheral vision, he was able to spot Walker peek through a line of lashes. ‘Interesting’, the ex-soldier thought as he continued ridding himself off his undergarment and putting his trousers back on. Going commando was terrible feeling in these clothes. On the bright side, Walker definitely had at least a little interest or intrigue for Michael. Whatever it was, Michael was determined to use it to his advantage. “I am done. Are you wearing any cotton?” He inquired as he was putting his shoes back on. 

Walker’s gaze had returned to Michael, falling over his slender body. He grunted lowly and shook his head in confirmation. “Yeah, underwear and socks.” Michael hummed and started untying Walker’s laces. He had an idea and difficulty to keep a straight face. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t curious what the athletic soldier was packing in his cotton undergarment. Just as the each shoe was off, he removed the bigger man’s socks. The former teacher ensured he was methodical to not give away his true intentions. However, as he reached for Walker’s waist, two meaty appendages placed themselves on his. “What are you doing?” The low and hoarse voice grumbled out. 

‘Well someone likes getting undressed’, the smaller blond thought. He looked up with big, innocent eyes. “This place is cramped and fragile. If you’re not careful, you are gonna bring the roof down on us”, Michael said as serious as possible. “Think you can take your underwear off and your pants back on without doing that?” He tilted his head to the side, his puppy look an effortless expression he had used all his life to convince people into anything. Walker let out a low sound and removed his hands from Michael’s. The discharged medic took it as a sign that he was allowed to continue. He struggled keeping his eyes from lingering on the fellow’s crotch. The nylon survival gear had been the easy part, but while Walker lifted his hips for the cotton to leave his cold body, Michael’s breath hitched in his throat. He somewhere hoped this interaction had gotten Walker half-hard, but on the other hand, if this was Walker junior’s resting state of being, there were a lot of wild fantasies focused on seeing it in full action mode flooding Michael’s mind. 

Michael tried to be quick to not give himself away. When each of them were fully dressed again, an awkward silence befell them. Michael was shaking in his wet clothes. He feared hypothermia might get him, before a bullet would and he wasn’t sure which one of those was a worse way to go. “Don’t tell me we need to get naked now and cuddle.” Michael looked at the big blond, just after he broke the silence. The twink giggled. He hid his teeth behind a raised hand.

“Getting naked might not be the best idea in this cold, but yeah, cuddling would reduce the surface area that is in contact with the outside world.” Walker spread his legs and patted the space between them. It was an appreciated gesture, but it felt odd. Yet, without question, Michael shuffled closer and leaned against the broad chest presented to him. Walker was oddly warm, heat oozing off him and Michael instantly relaxed, feeling more comfortable than he had been in months. The smaller male got even closer, getting comfortable as the big, muscular legs wrapped around him and trapped him in his place. 

Michael hadn’t noticed himself drifting off, until he woke what seemed to be hours later. It was dark. The sound of rain clattering against the wood above his head obscured the soft, but still audible pounding of a heartbeat. “Are you awake?” A growly voice whispered. Michael hummed, keeping his cheek pressed against the damp fabric. “You should have waited. We will stay here all night. It is dry and defensible.” Michael make a disagreeing sound, it cracked from the remains of sleep still engulfing it. He kept feeling sleepy, but not enough to return to dreamland. 

“Have you not slept?” Michael’s spoke above the noise of unrelenting downpour of water from the dark skies. Walker let out a negative grunt. “Why?” Another grunt, but it sounded somewhat like ‘can’t sleep’, which was strange. Everything about Walker suggested he was a seasoned soldier and should have been used to sleeping anywhere at anytime by now. Maybe it was the anxiety of being separated from his fellow soldiers and being stuck in the wild with a guy from the opposite side. “What were you before the war?” Michael decided to ask. 

There was not an answer for a long time. Michael thought Walker merely did not want to talk about it, but he appeared to have changed his mind the moment Michael was close to giving up on that topic. “I owned a company, but it went bad… I’d rather not talk about it”, he said, the hint of reminiscing hidden between his words and it did not sound like the good kind. However, Michael sensed that the slight sorrow present in the former CEO’s voice was not because of his company going bad. There was more to the story, but Michael knew better than to prod unnecessarily. 

"I was a teacher", the curled up male said to change the subject. "I taught high school mathematics." Michael caught his voice going sour halfway the sentence. He thought of all those children who were probably staying home these days, trying to keep what was left of their family together. Every single one of those children would grow up uneducated and some of them even orphaned. A heavy sob echoed through the small space and Michael knew it was his. He missed his students as much as he missed his family. Two big arms encircled him and Michael let himself be completely wrapped in the arms of the only other person in no-man's land. Michael felt fingers through his hair. It was as if his sobs disappeared on their own and Michael was now left with the occasional tear rolling down his red cheeks. "Walker, why do you fight for your side?" 

Michael tried to look up, but in the pitch black darkness surrounding them, there was not even a contour of a face to look at. "I have to", his companion replied with a husky tone. 

It was such a simple and meaningless answer and yet, it was the same answer Michael had. "What does your side fight for?" 

Walker seemed to be buffering again, but this time Michael know he simply had to wait patiently. "Victory." Michael wished he was able to see Walker's face as he said that. It was such a strange answer, but also, somehow, in some weird and twisted way, it was reasonable. "What do you fight for, Michael?" 

Michael chuckled bitterly. "I don't. I haven't killed a single person in this stupid war. I have only tried to keep my friends alive." The blond medic felt the arms around him tighten. It was comforting, safe and secure. They did not continue making conversation after that. They both had things to think about. Communication between them had watered down to asking occasionally if the other was still awake, followed by whispering an ‘ok’ when they were still receiving a reply to their inquiries. The night dragged on and the two eventually were carried back into the arms of nightly slumber.


	3. Sexual Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael wakes up to Walker's morning wood. This wood make things interesting. (Pun totally intended)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut / sex / bowchikawowow at the beginning. After the line, there is no explicit sex.

Morning light hit his eyes and Michael was woken from his slumber. He had not slept so well in months. As he came back to the world of the conscious, he slowly became aware of his surroundings. First he noticed the wetness, then the cold, then… warmth around his chest and against his entire backside. The former teacher opened his eyes. He smiled, when he found himself in the arms of another man, who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Michael wanted to stay like this, but it had stopped raining and they needed to get as far as possible. Their rations were going to last two more days, if not less. With careful movements, Michael tried to free himself without waking the other, but as he moved, he felt something pressing against his lower back. It did not take a rocket scientist to know what was poking through layers of fabric. 

Michael wriggled away and turned around. His eyes were instantly gravitating towards the tent in the bigger male’s nylon survival gear. The small blond did not forget the way Walker had looked at him yesterday; he was nowhere near subtle. A wicked grin spread over the twink’s face and he lied down as much as he could, placing his face as near as possible to the imposing hill of fabric. Michael gently placed his hand over the bulge and started putting light pressure on it. His eyes stayed trained on the sleeping face before him, watching for small reactions. Without waking Walker, Michael loosened the trousers. He was glad pulling the zipper down was enough to free the straining cock underneath. 

Michael’s eyes had lost interest in Walker’s face and were now completely focused on the pulsating organ wrapped in slender fingers. Michael spit in his hand and loosely stroked Walker’s length, testing the waters. He was big and would probably be huge when fully erect. Michael started to wonder if that company Walker had, had been a porn company or something. The ex-soldier could not resist any longer and took the thick head into his mouth, tongue naturally wrapping around it. 

The skinny male felt a jolt. Michael looked up with puppy eyes, as Walker slowly came to his senses, a spectrum of emotions crossing his face. Michael couldn’t let his opportunity slip and sucked hard, before bobbing his head a little, keeping eye contact with the beefy soldier. Walker let out a grunt and his meaty fingers tangled into Michael’s messy hair. “Fuck Michael, I swear if you don’t finish this…” 

Michael did not let him finish and pushed his head down as much as he could. He managed to get half of Walker inside. He stayed stuffed like that for a couple of seconds, before pushing himself off to gasp for breath. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna make you feel good”, he shyly whispered, ears turning red as he leaned down again. The former teacher’s tongue worked Walker’s cock like melting ice cream on a hot summer day. Profanities spilled from the bigger man. His hand tightened the grip on blond, greasy hair and Michael took mercy on the warrior. He tried to swallow all of it again. The slender male went slow and deep, pushing his limits. The idea of being able to take Walker’s monster cock entirely was enough to make Michael’s own penis stir. 

Walker made the most primal sounds, guiding Michael’s head over his length and the shorter male let him. He secretly wished the athletic man would be a little more aggressive, a little more using him to get off. Still, the way the man was restraining himself and thrusting up minimally was such a turn-on. Once, the soldier slipped up, went a little too deep and the choking sounds Michael made was enough indication that he needed a second to breathe. Walker let go and the twink immediately lifted his head, saliva covering his chin as he looked up with hooded eyes. “Fucking hell”, Walker growled, grabbing Michael by his jacket and pulling him up. The physician was not sure what was happening, until his mouth mashed with that of the other male. From all the things he could expect, this was not one of them. He had thought Walker would be a little more defensive of his heterosexuality. Quite the opposite seemed true, as big hands started groping, finding a way to bare ass and squeezing the soft skin there. 

“Walker, let me… finish.” Michael was on a mission, but he found it hard to stay focused. He couldn’t believe he thought he would be able to turn the tables to his favour, when he was so easily seduced himself. The burly man growled and bit Michael’s lips in response, before pushing him back down. Michael was almost ashamed at how eagerly he took the hot meat back in his mouth, working it with his tongue like a starving whore. Every time he got too eager and choked, Walker pulled his head up and slapped his cheek with the saliva-soaked flesh. It took every ounce of willpower to not reach into his trousers and jerk himself off to the sensation and humiliating scenario. 

Michael noticed the small things, learned them from experience. The change of breathing, the animalistic desperation, they were the tell tales that Michael read off people like they were holding up the signs for the world to see. He got his mouth off Walker, using his hand now as he held his face close to the man’s hard-on. “Come on my face, please,” he whined, explicitly putting on a show to help the other along. It didn’t take long before hot cum almost hit him in the eye. The lean male kept stroking the hard length, amazed at how much cum oozed and shot out of it. Usually Michael was nearly paranoid about getting infections, but he reached the end of his cares, when he thought about how he was likely to die in the upcoming days anyway. With little to care for, he let his self-restraint go, sticking his tongue out to lick up some of the semen on his lips. Almost the moment he took it in his mouth, he felt Walker forcing the tip of his cock inside, painting Michael’s tongue white. It had been a long time since the former teacher had the taste of semen on his lips. He had forgotten how much it turned him on. Michael reached inside his trousers, blindly grabbing for his cock and pulling desperately at it. He felt himself being pulled up by the other arm and soon he was leaning on solid muscle, a hand swatting away his own. Michael softly mewled the other man’s name, keening and shaking as he soiled the inside of his trousers. He knew he would soon regret not undressing himself. 

As Michael basked in the afterglow, he felt wet fingers touch his lips and he obediently opened his mouth for the fingers. Michael wasn’t sure whose semen was on the digits, but he was too far gone to care. Walker rested his hefty hand on the former educator’s back, petting and caressing it. Michael wanted to stay like that forever, blissed out and tangled up in a small space, shielded from war, pain and death. 

\---------------------------------

The sun was high in the sky when Michael could no longer handle it anymore. He was tired, exhausted and felt disgusting. He sat down on a log, making sure he was loud enough for Walker to hear. The burly man turned his head around and grumbled. “Get up, we still have not found anyone.” Michael ignored him, opening the backpack. Before he had taken some water out of it, the backpack was lifted out of his lap. “If this was so heavy, you could’ve just asked me to carry it.” 

Walker walked away with the backpack, causing Michael to let out an exhausted and frustrated sigh. Yes, it was heavy and wearing down his body, but he was not the one with a concussion. “I feel like I can ask you nothing,” the skinny male exclaimed as he followed the athletic giant. His feet hurt, but truth to be told, his everything was hurting. Bad sleeping and living conditions, paired with strenuous activity was not doing his body any good. “I can tell you have mixed feelings after this morning, which I understand, but you haven’t said a word to me all day!” Michael was flailing his arms around in frustration. They could at least pretend nothing had happened this morning, but Walker was treating him like an actual prisoner right now. Michael wanted to cut him some slack, but he felt like he was losing his sanity. The idea of dying in the middle of nowhere got more and more likely. The thought brought fright into his system, scratched at his bones with the promise of death. 

Michael had expected for Walker to dismiss him, like he had done all day, but to his surprise, the burly man came closer. Walker took quick steps with a look in his eyes that seemed almost dangerous. Michael’s instincts tuned in and his first reaction was flight. He backed up. He swallowed, but his throat was a little tight. His eyes were so trained on those cobalt cold eyes, that he didn’t see the branch covering his path. Michael tumbled backwards, falling on his butt. Walker crouched down, but he apparently couldn’t get close enough. The bigger man stopped moving when Michael was lying in the dirt, on his back with a handsome face mere centimetres away. 

“Listen here, twink…” His voice had dropped to something dangerous, but Michael wasn’t scared. If Walker had been really angry with him, he would’ve called Michael ‘rat’ again, but he hadn’t. Michael knew his ears were turning bright red and he almost keened at the tone the other was using right now. “... You think you’re so smart, don’t you? Well, news flash, I don’t have mixed feelings. I know exactly what I feel.” Walker got even closer. Michael felt warm breath hit his cold skin. Walker had curled a finger and the knuckle just touched the tip of Michael’s chin, forcing it up with little effort. “Ever since you got your greedy mouth on my cock, I have been thinking of eating your ass and fucking it open. How is that for a conversation starter?”

Michael didn’t know what to say. He knew what to think, however. ‘Please yes’, was all his brain could muster. Michael knew that, if he tried to speak now, he would only be pleading for the man to turn his words into actions. Apparently, Michael’s silence had dragged on for too long. He remained still-frozen as Walker leaned in, connecting their lips. Walker wasn’t calm or gentle. He seemed almost hungry, feasting on Michael with lips and hands. Michael was quick to react. Hands roamed and groped as lips clashed. It took mere seconds for Michael to stop pretending he was putting up a fight for dominance. He loved it; he loved obeying, letting go and pleasing his partner. 

Michael was so lost in it. His head was full of fog, as he was ravished, while small branches were poking in his back. He couldn’t think. He hardly could even breathe. The figure on top of him did not allow their lips to be disconnected for even a full second. Michael could get lost in the heat radiating off the other man’s body, but his plans were cut short as Walker pushed himself up with the speed of light. Michael couldn’t get his bearings quick enough. He was disoriented for a moment, before putting an arm firmly on the ground and pushing his upper body off it. He saw the gun that used to belong to him in Walker’s hands, pointed at the distance. “Keep quiet and stay behind me”, the burly soldier whispered, staying low as he advanced. 

Blood was rushing through his body. Michael could almost feel the speed with which the fluid coursed through his system. His breathing was shallow, mildly panicked. He didn’t know what would be worse. If it were his side, Walker may be killed on the spot and when they saw the ripped off badge, Michael would probably be next. However, if it were Walker’s side, he was not sure what would happen. He wondered if he would be killed or kept hostage and tortured. In case of the latter, he was not so sure Walker would stand up for him. The worries and doubts filled his head, as he followed in Walker’s exact footsteps, making as little noise as possible. “Don’t move”, a voice in the distance called out. Walker froze and Michael was almost pasted to his broad backside. 

The voice instructed Walker to drop his weapon with a loud shout that bounced off the trees. Michael’s heart pounded in his throat. He yelped as the bigger blond pulled at his thin arm. Michal clung onto the muscular arm holding him around the throat, nails scratching at the flesh. He kicked his feet, when he felt the cold metal of a gun against his temple. “I got one of your rats right here. Want to risk it?” Walker’s voice rolled between the trees, big and intimidating. 

‘He wouldn’t! Would he? Maybe he would…’ Michael kept trying to get free. ‘God please, I don’t want to die. I knew I would soon, but please…’ He didn’t hear Walker hissing in his ear to stop struggling. His only focus was on getting away from the gun that posed his gateway to either heaven or hell. The former soldier did not care that he had no chance of getting the upper hand and freeing himself from a man twice his size, but he had nothing left to lose.

“Trell?” Walker let go of Michael. He gasped for air as he let himself fall onto the ground. Michael barely caught himself with his arms, lifting his head to see two women approach Walker. They wore the same uniform as him, their hair and face obscured by their helmets. Their exact words didn’t break through the white noise Michael’s ears were filled with, as he came down from his panic. 

He felt almost better, until a different gun stared him in the face. However, this time it was short lived, as a hand slapped it away. “Don’t. He’s a capable physician, patched me up, so I could get back here. We could use him.” Michael looked up at the dark-skinned woman, who had just pointed her gun at him, and nodded his head almost violently.


	4. The Good Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael is captured and put to work.

The journey to the camp was short, but felt longer than the whole quest Michael had done with Walker. The two women made him carry everything and treated him roughly, but Walker made sure they did not get too violent with him. The skinny ex-soldier had considered the possibility that Walker would not stand up for him, when in the presence of his fellowmen. This was as much as he could ask of the man. Walker could have let them shoot him, but he made sure Michael was taken in one piece. 

Cuffed and exhausted, they dropped him off at the hospital tent. The smell of blood filled the air within. They made it very clear that he had to prove his worth, if he wanted to live. Michael started questioning of he did, but found himself going full physician mode as soon as he had the equipment to help people. He had only started doing this since joining the military, but he was already making it natural for himself to treat people. The intense days on the battlefield made sure that he learned quickly; he had to. 

The sun had long set as Michael stitched up the so manyth person that day. He cut off the thread and disposed of his gloves. “For a rat, you are not that bad,” the patient grumbled, unmoving. Michael assumed he was in a lot of pain, since he looked like he wanted to rip Michael in half and yet stayed still. The injured fighter’s eyes drifted to the hole in Michael’s worn-out and scratched jacket. “What did you do?”

The former teacher took a look around. There were no new patients. Things were calming down, so he supposed he could use a bit of semi-friendly conversation. This was the first person decent enough to grand him a word other than ‘I’d rather die than let this rat touch me!’ Michael let out a sigh and forced the mid-long, blond strands out of his eyes. He could really use a haircut. The sweat made it too heavy to stay up and so it stuck back to the physician’s forehead. “I refused to kill,” he muttered, looking around, afraid that if any of the other doctors saw him having a conversation with a patient, they would get angry. 

The patient let out a laugh. “It’s war and you refuse to put a bullet through a person who attacks you?” Without shame, Michael nodded. He had his morals, he had the bible. War did not change the ink in the paper and therefore Michael would not let it change his morals either. With thin fingers, the young mathematician grabbed a blanket and threw it over the man on the bed. The night promised to be another cold one. “If I were your superior, I would have put a bullet through you.”

Michael swore he heard some admiration in the other male’s tone. “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image.” Michael eyed the other. He did not seem to recognise the bible verse then. “I believe God will spare the lives of those who follow His word.” 

“Guess I’ll die, then.” 

“But He also forgives those who are worthy of forgiveness.” The two men locked eyes, staring one another down. Michael tried to read the other, but he was unable to tell what the wounded individual was trying. All Michael could tell was that he used to be a believer, but something took all his faith from him. 

“What would make me worthy of forgiveness then? Prayer? Giving away my belongings to the poor? Bury my weapon and become a monk?” 

Michael wasn’t sure if the other was mocking him or seriously looking for answers. Maybe both. He considered his reply for a moment, merely looking for the correct words, since he had the answer figured out a long time ago. “I believe,” he started, because he did not know, only believe, “that God does not judge us based on our belief or ability to recite the bible. Whether you believe or not, the goal should always be to be good towards the world we live in and the creatures we share it with.”

“And what if neither of those are good towards us?”

“If you defeat evil with evil, evil will remain the victor.” 

They stayed quiet for a moment again. Perhaps the man had not expected such words from a ‘rat’. He opened his mouth to say something, but apparently decided not to. “What’s your name?” Michael tried. He half expected the distrusting individual to refuse to give his name, but to his surprise the man replied with a low grunt. It brought a smile to the doctor’s face. “I’m Michael… Adam, what do you fight for?” 

Michael could make out less and less facial features as the flashlight hanging from the nearest pole started losing battery. However, the silence indicated that Adam was thinking again. “I have nothing to fight for. I just fight, so I have a purpose.” Michael nodded. He did not quite understand, but he also did, in a way. 

The young blond flinched, when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He jerked his head to see whom it was. Through the darkness, it was hard to tell, but the voice was like a business card. “Doctor, I believe you have bothered his patient enough. Come with me.” Michael smiled at Adam and bid him a good night, before leaving with Walker. 

The brooding male did not say a word, until they were off to the edge of the camp. Walker let the bag fall off his shoulder and bent down to open it. “What are we doing here?” Michael almost whispered, fearing the worst. He would not be surprised if Walker would execute him here. Surely Walker would not have wanted it, but Michael could tell that he was loyal to his cause, loyal enough to follow every command. To the shorter blond’s surprise, he got a bundle of clothes thrown at him. 

“You’re a good doctor. They let you stay, but I am to watch you and shoot you as soon as you do something dingey.” Michael did not know what to say. Walker lit the campfire he had prepared here and suddenly Michael saw that the clothes were the same uniform Walker was wearing. Was he officially becoming one of them? He still did not believe in sides, but it was odd. It felt weird. It felt like he was betraying at least someone. Michael stayed frozen as Walker moved around him, putting up a small camp here with an open tent, blankets, a fire and whatnot. 

“I will stand watch here tonight. You can…” Walker paused when he saw Michael still-frozen with the uniform in his hands. “What’s wrong?” 

Michael finally looked up. “No… nothing, just… really, just nothing,” he lied, because he was not sure himself what was wrong, why he felt the way he did. Walker slowly walked closer, his hefty hands landed on Michael’s underarms. His skin radiated familiar heat. Michael wanted to sink into it, close his eyes and sleep. With red ears, he looked up at the militant with the admirable physique. 

“Hey, listen. I am going to keep you safe, okay?” Michael nodded, mesmerised by the way the fire reflected in the eyes of the . He didn’t notice Walker leaning closer, until those eyes closed. Michael closed his eyes too, right before his lips were covered with Walker’s. Michael had little self-control, his tongue darting out mere seconds later. He needed to feel Walker in every possible way. The uniform fell onto the ground and he pressed himself against the athletic soldier. 

Walker seemed to have little patience too. He pushed and pulled and then swept Michael off his feet. Michael ended up lying in the tent, feet still outside. On top of him lay Walker, nearly devouring the slender male’s face. Grabby hands relieved Michael of his clothes. Without the figure made of muscles and hot skin, he would have been really cold. Walker started kissing lower, but Michael stopped him, panicked tone forming before he could stop himself. “Wait, wait, Walker”, he cried out under his breath. 

“What? Don’t worry about getting caught, I…” Michael stopped him from going back to what he was doing. “What is it?”

Michael was thankful for the darkness, otherwise his red chest and head were not as hidden as they were now. “I uh… I just haven’t had a good wash in a good while. I just think… I mean…” He didn’t know what to say. ‘I feel dirty and I am embarrassed about it’? It was essentially what he meant, but he found himself unable to say it. He apparently did not need to. Walker pecked his lips and crawled out of the tent, leaving Michael cold and naked. 

“Then I will fix you a bath tomorrow”, Walker said as he picked up the clean uniform and tossed it at Michael. “I got some food for you too. Come and sit with me, when you’re dressed. I prefer you naked, but you might get sick.” Michael let out a chuckle, taking the uniform. He wanted to close the tent, but Walker had literally just undressed him. By the way Walker was eyeing him, it seemed he wanted to have the tent staying open. With a wicked grin, Michael made sure to make it as much of a show as possible. In the little space, that proved impossible. Walker let out a hearty laugh when Michael nearly tripped trying to get out of the tent. The soldier looked like a dream, sitting on a log, uniform a little loose and the glow of the fire warming his face. 

“You said you had something to eat?” Michael could not even remember when he had his last meal. He was ready to fall to Walker’s feet, when he held out a paper bag. Michael sat down next to him, their legs touching as he opened the bag eagerly. There was a small container with left-overs, but it was clear it was filled with meat. There was also a small container with vegetables, and there was an apple. Michael took the container with vegetables and the apple, handing Walker the container with meat back. 

“What? No meat?” Walker questioned as he opened his bag to give Michael a fork and a bottle of water. Michael shook his head, teeth already plunging into the apple. The satisfying sound of a bitten apple alone, already brought some relief to the hunger. “Is it a religion thing? I heard you talking to the Adam guy.” 

Michael chuckled and shook his head. “I’m just a vegetarian.” Walker looked at him like he was crazy, totally bonkers, but it was short-lasting. The warrior coughed into his hand and looked away, muttering something. Michael comfortably leaned against him as he ate. It felt oddly romantic. They were in the woods, sitting close around a fire. The night was quiet, no sound of guns, no cries of injured soldiers, nothing, only… them.


	5. Between Heart and Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael gets home sick, but a reunion makes it so that he does not have to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halfway, my music recommendation is Writing's on the Wall by Sam Smith

Walker had kept his word. Michael was getting used to living at the camp. During the day he treated patients. After sunset, he would return to his tent at the edge of the camp, next to which Walker was having the nightwatch, at least until he was fully healed again. It was a fairly easy routine, but with each patient he treated, he wondered if his family and friends were in the same state, in need of help, but Michael nowhere in sight to provide it. Guilt ate at his soul, but he had to hide it. 

However, his sniffs were not quiet enough and one night, Walker joined him in the small tent. Michael felt thick fingers run through his surprisingly clean hair. It was comforting and the doctor rolled over to curl up against the chest of the man he loved. He buried his face between the open jacket and against the undershirt. Walker held him close, giving him soft caresses and gentle kisses on the top of his head. “What is wrong, babe?” Walker spoke softly, when Michael’s sobs were too quiet to hear. 

Michael wiped his cheeks. He hated crying in front of people. He wanted to be strong, the rock people could lean on, the caring figure that provided his loved ones with what they needed. He did not speak for a moment, afraid of what Walker would think of him. However, his boyfriend prompted him to speak with an affectionate thumb rubbing over his shoulder. “I miss my family… and I do not know if the people I treat here will be the ones to harm them.”

Walker stopped his movements, quiescent for a worrying moment. “Michael, please do not say that to anyone else. I will have to…” Michael noticed how Walker was even unable to say it. They had come a long way in the past weeks. They seemed to go so fast, but with death closing in at each passing moment, one lived a little faster, trying to experience life, before it ended. 

“I won’t… just… I want to go back home. My dad is there… and my cousin… worried out of their mind… Maybe they told them I’m dead!” Michael did not want them to be hurt because they thought he did not make it. He promised to return home. He was determined to come home, hold his father and tell him his son is still alive and well. 

Walker suddenly pressed up against him, forcing their lips together. Michael felt in every action what he was trying to say without using words. The way his teeth graced Michael’s lips. The fervent manoeuvres of tongue inside Michael’s mouth. The longing hands holding the lithe body intimately. ‘Don’t go; don’t leave me’. 

Michael got lost in the feeling of being desired so extremely. He tried to meet Walker’s yearning with his own, but was unable to match it. His trousers were already open and meaty fingers were playing with his hardening length. A twig loudly snapped in the distance. In an instant, Walker was up and out of the tent with a fire weapon in his hand. “Who’s there?” He bellowed. 

Michael struggled getting his trousers back on. If it was not an ‘enemy’, he at least wanted his exact relationship with Walker to stay a secret. Given his history, they needed to tread carefully. He barely had the button of his fly in place again, when there was a nearly quiet shot, followed by a grunt from Walker. Michael’s heart shot into his throat. He peeked through the half-open tent, trying to stay hidden. He wanted to run out towards Walker’s side, but he knew better than to run out blind. He saw that Walker had crawled behind a log, gun up and ready to fire as soon as someone came into the light. Another quiet shot from the dark and the weapon flew out of Walker’s hands. Michael could not hear it, but he knew Walker was cursing by now. A figure came running. Michael saw the trousers and boots he used to wear and a gun pointed at Walker. “Do not make a sound or I will blow your brains out.”

Michael recognised that voice anywhere. “Sam!” He scrambled out of the tent and was briefly met with the end of a barrel, before Sam called out his name too and helped Michael up and into a one-armed hug. Sam kept his gun pointed at Walker, as he observed Michael. “I am so happy you are alive.” Michael could cry, as he buried his face in the muscular shoulder. From the bushes appeared more familiar faces, people Michael knew less well, but who were still present in his big heart. It took a moment, before they noticed the uniform he was wearing. 

“Hesediel…” Michael turned his head to look at his best friend. “Why are you wearing the same uniform as those roaches?” The smile on Michael’s visage faded. He loved being called by his real name, but in this context he knew it was not a good thing. Before he had the chance to explain, Walker had jumped up and held Sam in a strong headlock, in spite of his injury. 

“Walker! Let him go! That is my best friend!” The other two soldiers that were with Samuel had their weapons pointed at their enemy. 

“He is a rat, Michael,” Walker growled through gritted teeth, “he shot me.” 

“No, I did and I will do so again.” 

Michael could not believe the young boy that came running with a sniper on his back and a handgun between steady fingers. His voice was still as high and feminine as he remembered, eyes still big and hair still a blond undercut. Grime covered his young face, as he looked at Walker with murder in his eyes. A loud bang sounded in the distance and Samuel yelled at the two soldiers with him to resume the plan, leaving Michael with this unpleasant reunion. “Nathaniel Raymond Gabe, what are you doing here?” Michael sounded like a very angry mother, but that was exactly what he felt like. 

“Sam said they ditched you in the woods. I came for you,” his cousin replied, still staring down Walker, as the ‘enemy’ was nearly choking Samuel to death. Michael cried once again for Walker to let go. He seemed to consider just snapping Samuel’s neck right there, but as Michael put his hand on his cousin’s weapon and lowered it, Walker loosened his grip on the dark-haired male. Samuel tried to attack him right away, but stopped, when Michael used his stern mother voice on him too. 

Shots were fired in the camp and Walker grabbed Samuel by the collar. “What are you doing here?” He spat into the shorter male’s face. Michael wanted to get in between them again, but the short boy next to him grabbed his wrist and dragged him in the opposite direction, away from the camp. 

“Nate, what are you doing?” Michael hissed at him as he tried to get his hand loose. “We need to help them.” 

Eventually, the older man got loose and stared his cousin down. “I’m not enlisted, Hesediel. I came for you and now I got you, I am leaving. Samuel will get himself out of there.” 

“You don't know that.”

“No, I don’t! But I cannot save him!” The distressed teenager looked at him with tears in his eyes. He was quiet for a good moment. Michael pulled his cousin close, letting the boy rest his head against his boney chest. There was no way to figure out the words falling from the crying boy’s lips, but it was clear that Nate believed in Michael’s survival more than the physician himself had. 

Michael shushed the teenager, stroking his hair to calm him down sooner. “Nate, I am all right. I am alive. Samuel needs me. I want you to go home. There is nothing to fight for here.” 

Just as the elder cousin finished talking, Nate pushed him away and started lightly punching him. “You are here, idiot! I fought my way here for you! I want you to come home, now!” Another shot tore through the air, but it missed its target. Michael tackled his cousin and lay on top of him on the ground. Michael was not sure who was firing, but it did not matter. The origin of the bullet, would not influence its trajectory. Michael led the way, crawling to the nearest form of cover. The sound of gunshots and injuries washed over them. 

Michael’s throat was tight and he felt the artery in his neck pulsating violently. His mind jumped from Nate to Walker to Sam to… “Hold fire!” Walker’s voice boomed over the shots fired at Michael’s direction. He lifted his head to see Walker running over. His head was bruised and he was limping. Michael feared the worst for Samuel. “He has a kid with him. We’re not that kind of monsters now, are we?” The men seemed to hesitate as Walker pried Michael off the floor with one hand and then dragged the child off it with the other. Nate tried to struggle, but stopped after a good stern look from his elder cousin. “We cannot hold ground here. Take whoever you can. We meet at point Lima.” 

The men gave a nod and ran off. Walker did not say anything as he dragged Michael and his cousin back to where they came from. Michael wrestled himself loose, upon seeing Samuel lying against a tree. His face was covered in blood and he seemed unconscious. “Walker, what have you done?” Michael exclaimed as he ran over to check his best friend’s pulse. He was happy to find it there, steady and in no immediate need of attention. 

“I kept him alive for you,” the bulky male stated, as he unarmed the underage boy. “We need to get out of here.” 

“I’m not leaving him.”

Walker groaned and bent down. He lifted Samuel over his shoulder. “Then we take him with us. Come on, before we get caught in the crossfire.” Michael took his cousin’s hand, dragging the unwilling teenager along to safety. As they ran into the forest, Michael noted the limp in Walker’s steps. The fighting drowned out behind them. Just when they were starting to get too faint to hear, Walker collapsed. Samuel was lying, now partially conscious, on top of the severely injured soldier. 

Michael finally let go of his relative to help the two men he loved, one as a brother, the other as his lover. “Nate, help me get Sam off him.” Michael spoke in hushed tones, knowing that it was possible to rest in this place unnoticed, hidden in the dark between tall bushes. Michael got them off each other and in a seated position. Neither patient was exactly working along, insulting one another and insisting they had to keep going. Michael was glad that at least Nate was being sensible and helping. 

“Walker, there is a bullet in your ankle. The bleeding is not severe, if you do not move too much.” Michael had tied his jacket around the big foot and the ankle attaching it to a muscled leg. It was tight enough to keep most of the blood in. He felt a little guilty at the wince that left Walker’s lips, while Michael tightened a piece of fabric around his thigh, trying to cut off the blood supply to the wound. 

Samuel had crawled to his feet by now. He just had a broken nose as far as Michael could tell in the dark. “Leave him here. We are going back to the camp and I’ll put you and Nate on the first train home.” Michael moved away, when Samuel made an attempt to grab him by the arm. “Hesediel, please,” Samuel begged. Michael couldn’t see his face in the minimal light of the moon peeking through the trees, but he knew that tone too well. 

“I am not leaving him. I am not leaving either of you.” Michael did not notice his voice cracking. He felt like he had to make a choice. He could not imagine where to start, when he had to decide between his heart and his home. “I love him, Sam.” 

Samuel got closer, taking careful steps, as if closing the distance between him and a wild animal that would be spooked, when approached too quickly. “I know you do, but you also loved a bunch of other men. You keep saying ‘he is different’, but you say that all the time. There will be more men you can love, Hesediel, but you cannot replace your family.” 

Michael wanted to argue, but Samuel was right. He did not move away this time. A hand grabbed a gentle hold of his own. Samuel held his hand as if it was a fragile feather. “Come home, Hesediel,” he whispered. Michael sniffed, nodding and using the leverage to stand up. 

He was barely to his feet, when he felt his other hand being grabbed too, but a lot more aggressively. “Don’t go,” a raspy voice almost whispered. Michael felt his heart torn in two, each sad, aching piece lying at the feet of the two men holding his hands, one gentle and coaxing, the other tight and desperate. “I cannot lose you, Michael.” 

Michael did not know what to do. He felt numb all of the sudden, trying to weigh his options. However, his mind kept drifting to his father, alone and waiting for his boys to come home. Suddenly, he pulled both his hands loose and pushed Samuel aside. With both hands, Michael took a hold of Walker’s face, pulling it a little closer to let their lips meet in the middle. Walker held him, fingers digging through the bunched up fabric of Michael’s shirt and denting the skin beneath. He did not need words to know what Michael had decided upon. He held on, trying to grab onto anything, as Michael pulled back. The younger male wanted to say something, but found his throat too tight with the tears he tried to keep inside. 

Michael knew he needed to get away before he found his heart swayed again. He took a hold of his best friend and cousin and turned to run back. Tears welled in his eyes, as he ran with the two men. The lights were getting brighter, the shots louder, the stench of blood more prominent, but nothing compared to the increasing ache in his chest. 

If Michael had looked back, he would not have been able to keep on running. Had he paused for just a second to have a last look at the man he left behind, he would have seen him crawling over the ground, reaching out, screaming in a type of agony that had been unknown to the man. No bullet, no wound, no lost fellow soldier could compare to the feeling ripping through the athletic man’s chest like a sword that ran deep, but did not kill; it just made one wish it had.


	6. I Wonder Do You See Them, Too?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a filler chapter tbh. Title from All of the Stars by Ed Sheeran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FRIEND JASPER!!! Thank you so much for supporting me by reading my stories. I love you man. May you get old and grey one day.

The rain pattered against the cold glass of the windows. Michael watched the land flying past. He was unable to put a name on what he was feeling. He started to think he forgot how it felt to feel anything. Were he less inside of his own head, he would have noticed the worrying stare of his cousin, who was sitting across from him. The tired ex-soldier stared out the window, his gaze unwavering, even when the soft hand of the boy across from him landed on his own. “Hesediel?” He did not respond to the gentle call of his first name. The hand on his moved a little over his skin, before the owner retracted it, setting it back into his own lap. 

 

Michael wanted to cry, but his tears had lulled him to sleep ever since he left Walker behind, bleeding with enemies close by. The young physician felt like he had no tears left to let roll down his cheeks. All he used to have, he had left in the pillow he used back at the camp. Exhaustion pulled at his eyelids, but he somehow stayed awake. He wished he wasn’t. In his dreams he could still feel warm hands and cracked lips. When unconscious, he still could bask in the feeling of being loved so intimately. He kept wondering if he made the right choice. His mind told him he did, but his heart was torn. It felt like he had left half of it behind to care for the one he loved. 

 

A rough shake pulled him away from his conscious slumber. He looked away from the haze behind the glass. Eyes met with those of his cousin. “Yes?” His voice wavered. Nate jerked his head towards a man in uniform. He asked for the tickets. Michael heard him, but as he pulled them out of the jacket that once belonged to Samuel, his eyes sought for any hint of familiarity. He just wanted to see eyes that resembled clear oceans or blond, messy hair sticking up in all places, anything that could give him a little of what he missed. However, the man checking their tickets held no resemblance to a certain soldier whatsoever. Michael found no comfort in those deep brown eyes staring at him with pity or the auburn locks of hair sticking out from under his cap. He left, maybe less dramatic than Michael had left Walker, but it felt all the same to him as guilt nibbled at his conscious. 

 

The landscape had changed. The world of the living started filling the empty wastes. Michael stared listlessly at the mug filled with a thin soup. “Hey, Hes… at least drink that up. For me?” Michael raised his head, looking his cousin in the eyes for the first time since they had boarded the train. More guilt washed over him. He soundlessly asked himself what he was doing. He had lost Walker, but he could have lost his family too. He supposed he had to be happy with the people he had deemed more important. A weak smile appeared on the broken male’s face. With trembling hands, Michael brought the mug to his lips and took a careful sip. The warm liquid was welcoming, aiding him to warm up to the boy across from him once more. He was not okay, but he would gladly pretend to be. 

 

\----------------

 

The only thing that healed his broken heart, was seeing his father again. The old man had been waiting at the train station, throwing his boney arms around his two boys. The grey-haired male had kissed both Michael and Nate with tears pouring out of his eyes. When the overwhelming relief and happiness had faded, they were both in for a scolding like they were both teenagers, who snuck out of the house at night. It was easier to deal with heartbreak, when Michael was constantly helping around the house, taking care of his father and dragging the grounded teenager back into the house. Life was domestic again. They still struggled to get food on the table when it was scarce, but familial love had always been the most rewarding to the ex-soldier. However, at night, when the family was asleep and he was alone with himself, he wished to not be. He longed for strong arms keeping him safe in the middle of the battlefield. He craved hot breath hitting the back of his neck. He yearned for the beard burn on his chin and cheeks. 

 

One night, Michael found himself back in the backyard. He looked up. The smoke and trees had obscured most of the night sky, back when he was struggling to stay alive for just another day of torture. Now, he saw the stars so clearly, lighting up the night. He wondered if Walker was looking at those same stars right now. He did not believe he was dead. Michael refused to even consider that. A cloud drifted away and revealed the full moon shining down on a world torn by war. Michael wondered what for. He kept asking people, but he could not remember what started it all either. 

 

A hand landed on his shoulder. Michael jumped and took a reflexive step away. He saw his father’s face, the hollow under his eyes more prominent in the light of the night. “Dad, are you okay? I’m sorry, if I…” 

 

“I should be asking you that question.” The elder man cut him off. His gaunt fingers slid down Michael’s arm and held his hand at the end of it. Michael watched as his father diverted his gaze from him to the moon. “Nate can get you on a train back,” the old man mused casually. Michael gripped the hand in his tightly. “I love you; Nate loves you and you love us.” His father turned his head away from the sky. Tears were pooling in his eyes, but he did not look sad. “But you love him too.” A second hand sandwiched Michael’s hand between two skeletal palms. “Come back and bring him with you, ok?” 

 

Michael did not realise he was crying, until his old man pulled him so easily into a comfortable embrace. Michael bent down to place his face down on an angular shoulder. Thick tears stained the shawl the other man had pulled around his fragile body, but neither of them cared about the thin textile. Michael held his father close for as long as he could. He felt lighter as he just let go and cried. “Thank you, dad. I will come back for you and Nate. I promise.” Michael felt his father kiss the side of his head affectionately. Stick-like fingers combed through his messy hair. The moon laid a blanket of light over them, but the old man did not notice as the light of his life was shining so weakly, trying to gather the strength to pick up the pieces, right there, in his weak arms. 

 

\----------------

 

The dark had been hugging him for hours, the smell of old dust and gunpowder filling his nostrils, but it somehow did not bring down his mood. Michael occasionally dozed off as he was hunched in a supply wagon. He had little of a plan. Nate was so kind to give him the weapon he still possessed. Michael had doubted he would need it. He had not shot anybody before and he was not planning on starting now. He was not going back to fight, but to love. He just hoped that Walker would still want him. He did not consider that option yet. He felt a little foolish, going back in with just a few rations, a hand gun, medical supplies and a piece of white fabric tied to a stick. The train came to a stop and Michael crawled further back, hiding his body from plain sight. His eyes caught sight of light streaming inside and his eyes had to adjust. He heard the voices of men and women. They were going to unload soon. Michael was on the ground, occasionally taking a careful peek. He ran as fast as he could between crates, getting closer to the door. He was about to walk out when he heard another voice. The blond man put himself parallel to the wall, hoping that the shadows provided enough cover as the woman passed him. He held his breath, waited and then slipped out. He somehow managed to get to the other side of the train and started running for proper cover. When he was leaning against the side of a hill, he allowed himself to catch his breath and get his bearings. He was not sure where to find Walker, but his best guess was point Lima. Michael closed his eyes, trying to picture the map he had seen lying on a table. If his memory was correct, point Lima was somewhere south of the original camp. It was going to be a long trip and he might not have enough rations, but he was here now and more determined than ever to get his man back. 


	7. I Wanna Fight for Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael is getting his man back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Lover, Fighter by SVRCINA. It is basically Walker's theme song by the end of this chapter.

The last drop of water fell from the mouth of the bottle and fell onto the tissue below it. Michael sighed. That was his last bit of water. He had drank so sparingly, but he had little to start with. The stick with the white fabric was clutched in his hands. He made sure to not wear any uniform. This unfortunately meant that his clothing choice was not exactly made for this kind of trek. 

Michael had passed the original camp yesterday. He almost got seen, but managed to run away unspotted and unscratched. His stomach rumbled, but he knew he could go a little longer without having to eat again. Michael looked at his compass. Sometimes he found himself accidentally drifting east or west, but right now he found himself still going south. As he continued walking, the white cloth waved over his shoulder in the cold breeze. 

The blond man was about to get a small break, when someone jumped out of a nearby tree. He had his hands cautiously near his hip, but neither hand held a weapon in them yet. Michael held the white flag up and showed his empty hand. When the figure walked closer, he started to recognise him. “Adam?” The man lost his defensive stance and took quicker steps, until they both could see each other’s faces more clearly in the dusk. 

“Doctor Michael?” The previously injured man seemed to not believe his eyes. “Trell said that you went back to your family.” Michael lowered his hands, smiling uncontrollably. He was so happy to see a familiar face. He wanted to hug the other, but could tell that Adam was not a man of physical affection. 

“I came back for him. Is he all right? Alive?” Adam shook his head in confirmation and gestured for Michael to follow him. He asked him if he was alone, where he had been, how things were away from the battlefield. It was as if he was making inquiries about a luxurious vacation to some tropical island. Michael could sense that Adam wished to leave the battlefields as well. He could not be the only one. Michael wondered what would happen if everyone just decided to go back, leave the empty fields and beaten forests behind, and forget all their conflicts. Everyone surely must want that, to go home. “Do you have someone waiting for you, Adam?” 

Michael was walking a little behind him, so he was unable to see the soldier’s face, but his shoulders seemed to sag defeatedly. “I am not sure if she is waiting for me, but I sure would like to see her again.” He spoke so softly, as if he was not sure of his words. There was a slight tremble. Michael got the hint. He was scratching at scars that bled so easily and he had no bandage for those. The former teacher decided to just hum and continue to follow in the other’s steps. 

He suddenly paused and bent down. Adam pulled at a couple of low-hanging branches and revealed a metal trap door underneath them. “Stay close.” Michael nodded. He knew better than to stray away from the single friendly person he had in this land of enemies. Adam knocked a complicated pattern onto the door and a heavy click sounded. He pulled at the door, revealing only darkness beneath it. “Don’t forget to pull it close behind you.” Adam stepped in. There seemed to be a ladder as he descended step by step. 

Michael followed after him, pulling at the door as hard as he could. He descended into the dark. When he reached the end of the ladder, his feet momentarily sought the next step, then tested the ground and then settled there. It was soft. Light suddenly entered the cramped space and he twirled around. Between him and the opening door stood Adam. The man was a little shorter than him, so Michael bent down to hide behind him when two women pointed guns at them. 

“Isn’t that the rat, who gave away our position?” One of them questioned. Adam gestured for them to lower their weapons. 

“He was the guy that stitched up our people, while we were short-handed.” Adam roughly took away the make-shift flag Michael had still been holding. “He is here to help.” He showed the flag and then returned it. “Come on.” The shorter man walked inside with steps that showed he knew where he was going and anybody in his way better stepped aside. Michael felt eyes burning his body, as he walked inside the base. Some knew him, some were just wary of a stranger. He noticed how big it was. The underground tunnels were strongly reinforced, but it was clear that this fraction was losing. 

Adam led the way to what seemed to be the chamber where all injured and sick were kept. They clearly had not been fighting much, since there were little newly wounded. The blond male avoided as much eye-contact as possible. Adam suddenly stopped walking. He pointed at a curtain in the corner of the room. “He is there. He has not said anything for days.” Michael ran. He did it, before he thought about it. He pulled the curtain aside as soon as his hands could reach for it. 

Behind the light green cloth was a single bed with a small table beside it. On the bed layed a bulky figure, sleeping. He looked so peaceful. Michael approached slowly. He lifted the blanket at the other’s feet, trying to have a look at the damage. Bandages covered Walker’s foot, but there was no blood. Michael smiled and tucked the man in. He was tired as well and sat down against the table. 

Michael didn’t mean to, but he dozed off. When he woke up, it was because of Adam lightly shaking him. “Hey, I brought you some food and water.” He whispered. Michael blinked the sleep away as he took the cup and the plate with some mashed potatoes on it.

“Thank you. How long was I out for?” He downed the cup in one go, his dry throat feeling a little better now. 

“Not long. 20 minutes at most.” Michael hummed. The potatoes were a little salted, but that was all the flavour there was. Still, he was grateful. They must be running low on food and water and still they shared with him. “I have to get back to my post. Try not to wander and just stay here.” Michael waved the other man off. 

He was eating nervously, mind running with scenarios. He did leave Walker. Michael could not imagine that had no consequences. He regretted it, but he did not regret going back home. Michael wondered how hard it would be to make Walker leave with him.

Sudden movement on the bed, made Michael stand up as if the floor was burning his behind. He put his plate on the small table and stood next to the bed like a child expecting a scolding. He saw Walker’s head turning as his eyes slowly opened. His head stopped when turned in Michael’s direction and Michael felt every muscle in his body contracting. “Michael?” The big man chuckled and put an arm over his head. “Fuck, now I am hallucinating too.” 

Michael closed the distance and put his hand as gently as he could on his lover’s shoulder. “You can’t hallucinate from a bullet in your foot, silly.” Walker moved away from him with incredible speed. He sat up, eyes wide. His hand reached out apprehensively. Michael reached for him as well, their hands meeting in the middle. Michael was fully expecting to just hold Walker’s hand for a moment, but the man gripped his wrist and pulled him onto the bed and into his lap. Michael gasped, but relaxed as soon as familiar, strong arms shielded him from the rest of the world. 

“You came back for me. I thought I... I would never see you again.” Michael wanted to say something, but as soon as his face wasn’t pressed against hard muscles, his lips were captured with dry, torn ones. Michael felt forgiven, missed, but also concerned. Walker was practically devouring him. Slow and romantic, as Michael had expected their reunion kiss to be, was as far from reality as possible. Teeth clashed, sunk into Michael’s lips and he wasn’t sure how to respond. Breath left him and he gasped, when his lips were finally free. Teeth sunk into the sensitive flesh of his neck and Michael bit his lip in order not to moan through the whole sick ward. 

“Walker, please, calm down,” the smaller male whispered, hands squeezing broad shoulders. It seemed to help. Walker stopped, his head resting in the crook of Michael’s neck. Michael thought he was crying, but he felt no wetness nor heard anything that could indicate that. 

“You’re all I have, Michael… Please don’t leave me again.” Michael wrangled his arms loose, so he could put them around the man he loved. Maybe Walker was crying, but on the inside. Michael wanted to promise he would not, but the gun he had still on him made him too aware that such promises were not to be made in war. 

“I want you to come home with me. There is nothing to fight for here.” Walker freed himself and kissed Michael again. This time it was as Michael had imagined it to be. Slow, tender movements of lips meeting and sensual dance of tongues.

“You’re right. You’re the only one I want to fight for.”


	8. Cold Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael, Adam and Walker make their escape to freedom.

Most people were not happy with Michael’s return, but he helped around as much as he could. He watched Walker regain the colour in his cheeks. He watched the hollow disappear and a familiar smile return to those chapped lips. His significant other had not lied, when he said he only wanted to fight for Michael. He listened to every word in the full month Michael had been there. Walker was walking decently now. Michael wished they could stay longer, give Walker more time to recover, but he heard several soldiers talk about a counterstrike, a final effort. Time was running out, so he had to make a move. 

“Adam, thank you for coming,” Michael whispered in the dimly lit corridor. It was not safe to be here due to recent collapses in this shaft, but it was the exact reason why they were here. The young soldier had his shoulders raised and his head ducked low. He mumbled something about making things quick, eyes shifting around almost frantically. Michael understood; he did not feel comfortable here either. “I need your help. I want to go home with Walker, but I need help getting him out.” Eyes finally stopped flickering around and landed on Michael’s, scleras very prominently in sight. “You know… we have little room, but... there is an unoccupied spot on the couch…”

The doctor watched as the other’s expression softened and he seemed to consider it. It was clear to see how hard he was fighting his sense of duty with his desire to no longer fight and just settle down somewhere. He was not the only one. Michael had noticed this inner conflict in many of the soldiers he had been treating. People were exhausted, weary from the fight and losing morale with each second. 

“What do you need me to do?” Adam looked away, as if ashamed of his own words. Michael wanted to comfort him, but as his hand came down to rest on the other man’s shoulder, Adam flinched away instantly. Michael muttered an apology, sincere, but quiet. There was a moment of silence between them. Michael wished Adam would say something, but as he looked down on the other, he saw that Adam was still waiting for his assignment. 

“I need you to find a discreet way out of here and then help me get Walker to the train. I know how to get on unnoticed; we just need to get past enemy territory.” It was weird to call it ‘enemy territory’, while he knew Sam was there, probably thinking that Michael was still happily home with his family. However, it somehow felt right too. If they saw them, they would die. It did not make these people his allies, though. If the people here saw them trying to get away, they would die as well. Death was just everywhere. Loyalty to the cause was all that mattered here, even though nearly no one knew what this cause was. 

Adam moved his head in understanding. He was silent for so long, Michael thought that he was going to back out, but after a good minute or two, he looked up with determination swimming in his eyes. “Tomorrow night. Be in the kitchen at 11pm. You can take him there alone, right?” It was not going to be easy, but Michael was confident he would manage. He agreed and Adam put out the oil lamp between them. Michael heard shuffling and then footsteps getting farther and farther away. 

Walker was not a big fan of the plan, but he realised he had no time to come up with a new one. They packed light, just a waterskin, food scraped together and sneaked out of the pantry for two full meals. If they spread it out, they should last two days on it. If they didn’t want to be cold, they just had to dress well. There was no space for blankets or anything like that while on the run. Michael was glad he still had the jacket that fit painkillers and bandages everywhere. 

When the time came, he helped Walker make his way to the kitchen. The bigger male had memorised the guard rounds. They didn’t run into anyone and made it to the kitchen unseen. Michael nearly experienced a heart attack, when they were greeted by a figure hiding in the shadows. Walker had already his pistol drawn, but a familiar voice made him lower his weapon as soon as he had drawn it. “Follow me,” Adam whispered in the dark. That was easier said than done, as the young doctor was unable to see the soldier, but Walker seemed to know exactly where Adam was and where he was going. 

Michael jumped, when someone grabbed his arm. Judging by the size of the hand, he concluded it was not Walker’s. “There is a shaft for supplies here. Doc, you go first. Make sure the coast is clear.” The hand disappeared and Michael could only guess Adam had taken a hold of Walker’s arm. “Trell, you go behind him. You will be a tight fit, so I will be right below you, so you can use my shoulders for extra leverage.” 

Michael heard the low grunt of confirmation coming from his lover. He carefully positioned himself underneath the steep shaft. It was slightly tilted, but it helped little. Finally his military training really paid off, as he remembered how to climb something like this. He was lucky the walls were not slippery. With only a few soft grunts, the flexible male managed his way to the top. His head hit something made out of wood and he put his arm up to push against it. He was careful to not just throw it aside. His arms and legs were shaking from the exercise, as he put his upper body over the edge of the shaft and leaned on the dirt surrounding the opening. Michael whipped his head around, holding his breath to listen to the complete quiet. “We’re good,” he whisper-screamed downwards, before swinging a leg over the edge and clumsily getting himself on ground-level. 

It was a challenge to hoist Walker up, but they managed with only mild complaining from Adam and Walker himself. Michael started to think the two had a sibling-relationship. With both Michael and Adam supporting the giant man, they made their way quietly through this territory into the other. The night was cold and every sound was somehow scary. Michael thought his heart was going to give in sooner or later. It pounded high in his chest, stopped at the thought of anyone seeing them crossed his mind.

His legs gave out. His chest felt tight and he automatically wrapped his arms around himself, curling into a ball on the floor. He heard the two other men loud and clear, but found it hard to will his lips to move in order to answer them that he was fine. He let himself be placed against a tree. The panicking physician felt cornered by the two soldiers. The calloused fingers against his chin made him tilt his head upwards, eyes locking with those of his love. In the minimal light of the night sky, he did not see them clearly, however. “Michael, follow my breathing, ok?” Walker placed Michael’s hands on his muscular chest. Michael felt a soothing heartbeat and the rise and fall of the other’s chest. He tried to copy it, but his breath was staggering, shaking along with the tremble of his lips. 

When his breathing was back to normal, he noticed Adam pacing around. The frantic watchkeeping almost ruined the calm he had found in the deep breaths of his boyfriend. “Have you had a panic attack before?” Michael looked back at his love, hands still on that muscular, broad chest. 

“I usually feel it coming... but I usually only get them during the summer,” the younger male replied, his voice a little hoarse from the dryness of his mouth. Michael heard his voice crack, the promise of a crying fit hanging in the air. “I’m sorry… I’m… just so scared.” 

Walker was clearly going to say something else, but Adam interrupted him. “We all are, doc, but we really need to go. We are in enemy territory.” Adam was already urging Walker to rise off the ground. 

“Right now, everywhere but where that train brings us is enemy territory,” Walker replied, the tiredness evident in his voice. Michael wanted to suggest a rest, but he supposed he just had that. He watched his breathing, mentally telling himself that he had Walker and that it was going to be fine. He kept repeating that, as they marched on into the dark forest. Michael was far from feeling fine, but Adam was right. If they wanted to survive, they had to keep going no matter what. Heart racing, breath shallow and body getting heavy. Their walking slowed down to a near stop, as the sky started to turn a lighter shade of blue. “Fire up north,” Walker whispered, “we need to divert. If they spot us, we are fucked.” Adam hummed. Michael could only muster a weak nod, but he had not set two steps or shots ran through the air. Michael heard a groan, but he was unable to tell where it came from. The world was suddenly in hard light for a split second, until he was tackled to the ground. His first instinct was to panic, but he soon recognised the smell of the one he loved on top of him, keeping him close to the ground and save from the gunshots that hopefully went over their heads in the literal sense. 

The sounds stopped and Walker tried to move off Michael, but the small huffs and moans indicated that his ankle was not working with him. Michael heard steps approaching and hoped it was Adam, but Walker was roughly kicked off him and Michael was faced with a familiar face, even though he did not remember the name. The private jumped back at the sight of Michael lying underneath an enemy soldier. “Doctor Gabe? Lieutenant Gottlieb said you went home.” 

Michael wished he could remember the name of the boy, but it had been so long since he was with his squadron. He swallowed the lump in his throat, breathing deep. “I need to see him,” he lied, knowing that would increase his chances of getting everyone out of this situation alive. “He asked me to lure these two here and I don’t know what for, actually. It’s best if we keep them alive.” Maybe it was too much to ask Sam to help him one more time, but he could always try. The boy blinked his brown eyes at him, as if trying to remember everything he knew about both him and Sam. Eventually, he lowered his gun and reached out to help Michael up. Michael watched how Walker and Adam were a little less gently brought to their feet, blindfolded and tied up. Adam had given a knowing nod, before just letting it happen. The physician caught sight of the blood coming from Adam’s side. “Wait, let me check on him before we go. We need to make sure he arrives alive,” Michael called out as he rushed to Adam’s side. He wanted to tell the soldiers it was unnecessary for them to restrain the man, but for all they knew, he was the enemy. 

Adam’s injuries were inconvenient at least and painful to walk with at most. The bullet had graced him, but he was lucky. Michael felt guilty as he got to walk as a free man, while his friend and his lover were escorted like wild animals. Luck was no longer at his side as the first person they encountered was not Sam. Michael was surprised the man remembered him, but there was no mistake. The way his eyes widened and his face twisted into a rageful expression, showed he still felt the frustration he used to feel when he told Michael to run off and die in the woods. The religious ex-soldier took a deep breath as he stood straight and stood his ground as his former commander approached the group of soldiers that escorted Michael, Adam and Walker to camp. 

“What is the meaning of this?” The man roared as he approached Adam first, roughly removing the blindfold, before doing the same with Walker. “Tie this traitor up and keep an eye on his friends. Who are they, more traitors?” He turned red as quickly as Michael felt himself manhandled to the ground and tied up. He felt eyes on him and he knew he had failed. The lean man heard his companions trying to put up a fight, but his blood ran too cold to find that energy in him. ‘It’s over,’ he thought, tears welling in his eyes as the consequences filled his head.


End file.
